he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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