I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
