I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
