All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
