i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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