You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
