Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
