Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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