1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
