Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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