About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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