I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You need a sexual gate keeper
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
