i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
as a side note pls kill me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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