i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
