She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize