Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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