i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.