How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom