It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.