Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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