The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
