mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Randomize
