Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza