I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!