You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Your cock deserves a montage
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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