My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize