The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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