I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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