She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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