fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
