that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
