Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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