Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
