last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
