i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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