Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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