This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
