i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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