i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize