How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
