oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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