all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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