The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
