return my video game
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
