At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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