So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize