How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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