You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
