just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
