I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
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Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
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I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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