Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he thought i was a dude.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Bring me that man meat
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
