Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
