I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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