Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
