those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
