According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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