so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
