please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
